March 2012
Typing →
wowfunniestposts:
On your keyboard
Someone else’s keyboard
what a funny blog
This happened yesterday while I was in WalMart.
Male cashier with multiple tattoos (two of them are colored in with rainbow): How are you this evening?
Me: Pretty good. Starving, obviously. How are you?
Cashier: Not bad. I can't wait to get off my shift and get home to my boyfriend.
Woman behind me: Wait, you're gay?
Cashier: Yeah. . . ?
Woman: That's a shame.
Me: Why?
Woman: He seemed like such a wonderful man, it's a shame he's gay.
Cashier: Why is it a shame?
Woman: It's wrong! It's immoral, it's dis-
Me: Excuse me, but what's it to you if he's gay?
Woman: It's offensive!
Me: But how does it affect you?
Woman: What?
Me: Where exactly does it start to make sense that it affects you? A relationship is between 2 people, not 3.
Woman: *sputters a bit, then leaves without her food*
Cashier: . . . Wow, thank you.
Me: Ignorant people are the reason I claim to be allergic to the human race.
The awkward moment when..
“wipe my face”“wipe my face”
February 2012
Things To Remember If I Ever Become an Evil...
My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
The artifact which is the source of my power will...
Watchsofudgeaswell:
humourovertherapy:
this is has come up on my dash 7 times, so glad i pressed play
Why is Coco even allowed to exist
